goodbye social media

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison Control a: to exercise restraining or directing influence over  b: to have power over I feel as though I lost control over my …

today was a good day

“Sometimes, only one person is missing, and the whole world seems depopulated.” –Alphonse de Lamartine, Méditations Poétiques Every day the last four weeks I have woken up and laid in bed with my dog Sophie. I have thought about what to do with my day and each morning, I think about laying in bed the entire …

dear kellan

“No one ever wanted anything more than I wanted you.” – Unknown The first week after Kellan died, I searched for books and journals to help me through the process. Writing has always been something I have used to express my thoughts. I stumbled across the most perfect one: Angel Book – a baby loss …

3 weeks later

“Believe me, every heart has its secret sorrows, which the world knows not, and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad.” –Henry Wadsworth Longfellow It’s been 3 long/short weeks since I last held my lifeless baby. I say long/short because it feels like time is dragging, yet I can’t believe it’s …

tears never run dry

“Grief is the price we pay for love.” – Queen Elizabeth II I walked through Walmart today and am unsure what happened, but I just couldn’t help but want to cry. I felt the tears start to well up, and turned down the trash bag aisle. I stood there blankly, trying to pull my shit …

nobody talks about it

“Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life.” – Anne Roiphe It frustrates me now that when you go through the pregnancy process, no one talks to you have the possibility of having a stillborn baby – especially at 36 weeks. I’m a numbers person. My husband’s …

a broken heart is real

“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.”  — E.A. Bucchianeri. Everyone tells me I’m strong. But I don’t feel strong. Every single day I know I am going to wake up, and I’m thankful I do. I’m just not thankful that I’m waking up to …